the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize