I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
