it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dicks are not precious.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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