I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
