Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
