where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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