If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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