I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
