too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
