Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
