im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
