It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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