I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
