Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
this hospital has no fireball
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
