yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
