new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
