Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
