What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
