I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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