I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
