PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
