You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
