oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
