Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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