i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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