that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
