I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
did i just pee glitter
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
