Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
