why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
