I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
