hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
