how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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