just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
