But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
