either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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