Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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