Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I need a beard to bite.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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