Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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