I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
