so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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