I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
