Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
