6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
