i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
