And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
