remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
being pregnant is like rehab
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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