Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
