So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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