Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
