Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think my moral compass just broke
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
