I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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