Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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