The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
