Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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