the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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